How to be confident: 5 more tips to apply

In this article, I bring you 5 more tips to boost your confidence.

6/ Knowing how to say no

Some people find it hard to say No.

In the personal sphere, they are often seen as kind, helpful, which is actually very positive... up to a certain limit. In the professional sphere, they are often very conscientious, involved people. They accept new assignments without complaint. Fear of dismissal, fear of disappointing friends or hierarchy, impression that one can do everything alone?

There are many reasons for this and the consequences can be very serious.

So if this concerns you, ask yourself:

• why (and/or for whom) am I doing this?
• what will happen if I don't change this situation?
• what are the risks if I say no?
• what are the acceptable limits for me?
• what would happen if I did a little less or a little less perfect?
• what solutions can I propose, what resources should I ask for?

Saying no does not compromise your personal and professional value.

Knowing how to say no is first of all respecting yourself and making yourself respected, an excellent way to improve your confidence!

7/ Allow yourself the right to make mistakes

We are often reluctant to do new things or to speak up for fear of making mistakes. However, it is these initiatives that support our self-esteem.

When making a decision or taking action, we imagine all the negative things that could happen, we list all the "good" reasons not to go ahead. However, mistakes are part of learning.

So go against the small voices that prevent you from taking any risk.

Ask yourself: what happens if I am wrong? Are the consequences that bad?

And if you never change anything, what happens? How will you look at yourself?

Also learn to evaluate your failures: what did I learn from this? what can I improve for the next time?

This is how you will learn to improve and believe in your abilities, step by step.

8/ Do not compare yourself to others

It is difficult not to look at others with the explosion of social networks: appearance, eloquence, professional and love success... Everything is made to encourage us to compare ourselves to our friends, colleagues, entrepreneurs, influencers...

One would almost forget that everyone posts only the best moments.

The worst part of it all? We know it's not reality, but we keep hurting ourselves and comparing ourselves all the time.

So what to do?

Regarding social networks:

• Limit, little by little, their use. Choose the accounts that make you feel good. And when you like an account while being a little jealous of its author, ask yourself how it could inspire you?

More generally:

• Focus on your strengths, recognize your value.
• Practice gratitude: be thankful for all that life brings you. Remembering this every day will make you much less vulnerable to comparison and envy.
• Congratulate and compliment others, put yourself in a positive frame of mind rather than being in envy; a compliment is an act that gives confidence in oneself and in the other person. By highlighting the qualities of the other person, you become aware of your own qualities.

In short, develop a positive mindset! 

9/ Taking action

It's easy to lose confidence when you can't reach a goal you've set for yourself.

We then enter a vicious circle of procrastination, where the negative voices keep coming back, all of which can lead to isolation... when we should be seeking help.

So take a step back and follow these steps:

The first thing to do is to identify why you can't:

• The objective is not precise enough
• The objective seems huge, a mountain to climb
• It forces you to step out of your comfort zone
• Your organization does not allow you to devote the necessary time

Then observe the emotions, your feelings about this blockage. What does it tell you?

What are the fears or limiting beliefs at play that you can work around?

Finally, define a plan of action:

• Rework the lens if necessary
• Practice the small steps technique (break down your goals into smaller, more manageable steps)
• Identify your resources, internal and external (what and who can help you?)
• Start with the simplest

Don't hesitate to ask for assistance at coaching if the exercise seems too complex.

10/ Learn to ask for help

This is a bias that most of us have: for fear of disturbing, we remain stuck with our doubts and unanswered questions.

Yet, as mentioned earlier, a third party can help you boost your ego.

• It can be your spouse, family, a friend or a group of friends who can listen to you, challenge you or advise you.
• It could be a mentor you met by chance or because your company has developed this mode of operation. But you can also look for one, internally or externally, someone you admire, with whom you want to exchange, who will be able to give you the benefit of their experience. Why not ask? It's flattering for the person, it doesn't take much time and it can be a very rewarding role.
• A therapist will be indispensable if there are things from the past that are too deep to dig out.
• coach will help you to work in depth, to better understand what's at stake for you, and to define and implement concrete actions.

List all the people around you who can help you and ask them for their help. Having self-confidence is also feeling better and more fulfilled.

The list is long, but don't panic! Pick what corresponds to your real needs and establish an action plan. You can't change everything at once. Increasing your self-confidence is a gradual process. Some of the tips shared in these 2 articles are quick wins, others will take longer to demonstrate their benefits. Have fun, test, observe... but dare, it is worth it.

"Believe in your dreams and they may come true. Believe in yourself and they will surely come true" (Martin Luther King)

Would you like to work on your confidence with a coach professional?

Contact Laurence Levy

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